On adventures at Walgreens

Alrighty, so my mom and I just got back from one of our frequent late-night trips to Walgreen's and I just had to write about it.
We only set out to buy one thing and pick up some medicine, but it turned into so much more. On our way to the back of the store, we stopped and looked at mittens and gloves. After much whining and begging, Mom agreed to buy me the Princess mittens, yeah. Then, I noticed something in the mittens that wasn't mittens. It was plastic and funny looking; I thought it was a baby toy... it wasn't.
I picked the thing up and pushed the button reading "Try Me". It turns out the thing was a stinking hand massager! So, as I'm standing there, the thing begins shaking and vibrating like crazy. I let out a very undignified yelp and dropped it back in with the mittens.
After this, much mocking ensued from my mother, of course. So, while she is buying the medicine and paying for our other things, Mom takes it upon herself to tell the nice old man behind the counter about my new found fear of hand massagers. This, to be fair, was said to explain why when I saw an entire BOX FULL OF THEM, I whimpered and hid behind my mom. So, we got several laughs out of the people in the pharmacy section at Walgreen's.
Then, oh yes, it gets better, as we are walking back to the front of the store, Mom saw the Halloween candy. It was on sale, of course. Huge Twizzlers that are about as long as I am tall, caramels for 32 cents a bag, Russel Stover's chocolate ghosts. We loaded up and also decided to get some hairspray. Soon we were walking up to the checkout and Mom's arms were loaded with all we chose to bought and our small grocery bag from our first attempt.
While the friendly cashier is ringing up our items, Mom is telling him all about the Women's Fall Retreat that she just came from, she even took off her jacket and turned around so he could read the scripture verse on the back. When Mom realized that the caramels were really only 32 cents a bag, she sent me scurrying off to get more bags, because apparently there are many many recipes that involve caramels, err. So, we are about ready to pay when I remember that one of the main reasons we came to Walgreen's in the first place was to get a newspaper, so I pick that up only to learn that my mom has another mission for me. She wants more bags of Mixed Mini candy bars. Much to the amusement of the cashier, I trudged back once again to the candy aisle.
When I returned from my journey, Mom and I got into an in depth conversation with the man about how I felt about my own mother disliking me, this came from our banter("Go get me more of these!" "Why?" "Because I don't like you that's why, go!"). She then explained that she indeed loved me, she just didn't like me. So, when the guy rung up our purchases, my mom decided she really needed the cherry Carmax that was by the counter, so he added that on too.
Needless to say, we were there for forever. I'm just glad that we were able to add some amusement to those men and women who work the night shift at Walgreen's, because I imagine it can get pretty boring. Maybe that is my true calling. I shall spend my days, going to different places of business late at night to entertain the people that work there. This is how I will share Jesus with the world! Okay, see this is what happens when I'm in desperate need of sleep.
Okay, one more thing before I say good night: In this newspaper that I bought, there was a story about a dentist who was being sued for messing up this lady's face because he was dancing to "Car Wash" while he drilled in her mouth. Also some eight-year-old boys invented wedgie-proof underwear. I think that that is too cool.
Massagers are scary.
Good night.