On more, More, MORE!

"All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth,"


It may not be much, but the song still asks for something.


Everyone is in need of something, whether they realize it or not. In the book I'm reading with my small group, "Wired", by Louie Giglio, it is explained that all of humanity was created as beings who worship. Now, we were really created to be worshipping God, but that's not always the way it works out. Today there are so many false idols that we give our worship to that often times we only have a smidge left for God. In the book, Giglio (I really hope he's got a son, or grandson, I don't know how old he is, who I can marry, because that might be the coolest last name I've ever heard) says that worship is our response to what we value most. Watching the clock waiting for the new episode of Heroes to come on and never missing the show says that Heroes is valuable to you, you're worshipping it. What I think is a pretty huge thing, especially in say my youth group, is that people get caught up in worshipping other people rather than God. Even if someone may seem extremely good and full of God, they're not God and are not worthy of our worship. I've been observing this people worship in that it seems many people only come to the youth group events for the socialization they provide. Now, fellowship is very important, but they came a point for me when I had to reevaluate what my time revolved around. Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about worship lately, and I think I can kind of add to Giglio's definition. We worship the things we want more of. The most sincere worshippers that I've seen and met are those who really seem to be longing for God. Which, that's been his plan for us all along hasn't it? To long for him, to realize that we are incapable without him, partial, inept (ooo I bet that one raised my blog level to genius). So basically, what I'm getting at is that as of late, even though I still struggle with giving my worship solely to God, I've have come to a greater understanding of what it is to long for God. To want more of Him. More, and More, and MORE! I don't know, it's basically just that I can't wait to get to actually see Him, you know? To actually stand in His presence and everything ,how it will be so amazing and terrifying at the same time. I can kind of get a better picture of where Paul was at in his life when he said "to die is gain," sorry that that sounds kind of morbid. How can I wrap this up? I don't know. I just thought I'd share what's been on my heart lately. Worship is so, so important, and I am trying my best to give it all to the One who deserves it.
Sorry that this blog is so stinking long. Now, I will copy off of a few people I've seen and put song lyrics in my blog. I just think Chris Rice expresses the feeling very well.

Here it is...

How far are You?
How close am I?
I know Your words are true when I don't feel them inside
Still I believe You'll never leave
So where are You now?
You're all I have
You're all I've known
Your breath is breathing in my soul
Still I am gasping, aching, asking,
Where are you now?'
Cause I just want to be with You
I dream about Your promise to return
I just want this waiting to be over
And I wake up hangin' on Your every word
I just want to be with You
For now my feet are planted here on earth
And it helps to know the Day is getting closer
And it helps to know the day is getting closer
But every minute takes and hour
Every inch feels like a mile
Till I won't have to imagine
And I finally get to see You smile!
My journey's here, but my heart is There
So I dream and wait, and keep the faith, while You prepare
Our destiny, till You come back for me
Oh, please make it soon!

On my Uglydoll

On Thanksgiving we celebrated Christmas with my dad's side of the family. We weren't going to be able to see my grandparents (Gram and Grump --yeah that's really what we call him, I made it up) during Christmas, so we had it early. This was totally fine by me of course, I mean I'm not even done with my birthday yet. So, I got this little stuffed creature from my aunt. Her name is Anne, we call her Auntie Anne, I'm not even kidding. I was so happy to get my Uglydoll. Seriously, that's the brand name on the label--UglyDoll. My aunt has one and she remembered how last year I was admiring hers so much. This little truly hideous doll is like on of my favorite gifts ever. The new picture I put up is of me and my Uglydoll, if you couldn't tell. Yeah, I get a little too excited about things like that. Oh well, that's about all I have to report about the Thanksgiving holiday. I did get two battle wounds, I get pretty pumped about showing off my scars and telling of my dangerous adventures.

One. My dad's brother, Bo, has four sons. They like to wrestle. I was being attacked by a few of these cousins and I think my brother, which was no big deal except the youngest cousin, Ryan he's 3, decided to bring along a matchbox car. I had a little lump on my face, between my eyebrows for a little while and I am sporting a fabulous cut on my nose. Of course there are no hard feelings towards Ryan, the scar makes my vacation seem interesting.

Two. In the car on the way home, the vent above my seat in the car attacked my hand. The pointer finger on my right hand really hurts, I can't wear my ring. OK, so that one wasn't at all glamorous, exciting, or interesting, I apologize for wasting your time. Hey, but at least I had your attention for a minute, because you were pitying me. I'm just kidding, I'm not pretending to be abused or infirm. I just thought you'd like to know what events I'll remember from my trip.

On Someday

If you think about it:
Today, is yesterday's tomorrow and tomorrow, today will be yesterday. So, we are really living in a yesterday, a today, and a tomorrow.
Hooray! I'm a poet.
Here is something I wrote short while ago.

Her smile is big. Her teeth shine as brilliant white in the celestial glow. Her radiance comes from the joy she feels, a joy so complete and overwhelming, it cannot compare to anything she has ever felt before. Though she wears no makeup, her cheeks glows as though kissed by the loveliest pink rose.
The Princess.
While she awaits her knight, knowing he is soon to come riding on his white horse, she wears her white gown and skips merrily. The dress is the purest most beautiful white, in representation of the new cleanliness of her heart. White petals fall lightly to the ground from the wreath on her head as she dances about. She is unable to contain her happiness, her bare feet trip over each other during her childlike celebration.
She wears her hair loose in long ringlets down her back like she did when she was a little girl. In her hands, she carries a bouquet of white dandelions, her favorite, but they are not separated by the wind, but remain connected as if in a dream. But this is no dream, she knows it cannot be. This is more rare and perfect and beautiful than any dream she's ever had.
She twirls in circles, lifting her hands above her head, delighting, rejoicing in the glorious light. While turning, she gets her first glimpse of him. He is quietly ascending the hill, strong and sure-footed. One look into his all-seeing eyes and she knows it's him
The Prince (Jesus)
He is the one she's been waiting for. The passion of her heart. She sees him and knows the time has come; tears of unsurpassed joy well in her eyes. She has waited so long to see his face. She runs to him, a wild undignified canter.
He sees her and laughs; he can't help but beam at her sheer enthusiasm and excitement. He is so glad she is his princess; he so delights in her. With his eyes, he takes in her human form and all her physical imperfections, but all his heart sees is beauty.
He takes her hand gently, and together they walk through the garden. Neither needs to speak, he knows exactly what she is thinking, and she knows he loves her. This is all she ever need know. They gaze contentedly at the blooming flowers and magnificent trees, and listen to the whistling birds. Both he and she have yet to stop smiling. He kisses her on the cheek; it is a perfect, holy kiss. This is a kiss not of worldly love, but of pure, spiritual love.
He leads her out of the garden gate and down the lane. It is time for the ceremony. All the angels are there, they have been awaiting the prince and princess. They have become the bridegroom and bride.
The Wedding
It is the most exciting, glorious celebration ever. There has never been a more perfect, happy wedding. The best part is that the Father is there. It has been his greatest desire to complete the joy of his daughter. He is beyond thrilled to see his princess smile and laugh as she dances with her life's love. She is finally with them, the Son and the Father. She has waited for so long! Together, the prince and princess blow on the bundle of dandelions, scattering the white seeds, getting some in their hair.
The Ascension
The Father embraces his princess in an affectionate, paternal hug. Then he sends the daughter off with her prince. The two go again into the garden, where he sends her flying high on the wooded swing. In the air, she laughs and sings joyously, thinking she may soon reach the clouds if she goes any higher. And then, she does. Together the prince and princess ascend into the sky.
Once there, she takes her place amongst all the singing, dancing, worshipping princesses. Now she knows she can live forever with the prince and the father. This is her beautiful eternity.

On the Mystery Dinner

It was FANTASTIC . . . enough said.

On M&Ms

I decided that I like this color a lot. Anyway, yesterday I ate a handful of M&Ms and I had a really scary thought. I really like M&Ms a lot. I wondered how many M&Ms the average person must consume in their lifetime. Well, because it's such a huge thing in America, I'm guessing the number is big. Now, I really, really like M&Ms so if anyone ever finds a number for me it would be double. The frightening thought was: What if when I got to heaven, God asked me about all those M&Ms? Just like how in James it says that you're going to have to account for every stray word that you speak, what if you were asked about your M&m consumption? I know it's definitely not a good thing, but I've been torturing myself with this one. Here is how the conversation would go:
GOD: Now Lindsey, do you know how many M&Ms you ate while you lived on earth?
Me: Um, no not really, sorry.
GOD: Well, it was actually quite a lot. You ate (insert a very large number here) M&Ms.
Me: Oh my. That is a lot of M&Ms. Where exactly are we going with this?
GOD: Well Lindsey, do you know how many times you opened and read your Bible during that time?
Me: No. I really didn't keep track of that either.
GOD: I'll give you a hint. . . the M&M number was bigger.
Me: Rats.
Yeah, even though I seriously doubt that that's how it will go when I meet the big guy, it's still something to think about. I really should crave God's word more than I crave M&Ms or anything else. It's really important. Even though I feel a little bit dumb, worrying about how God feels about my eating lots and lots of M&Ms, it's a pretty good motivator. Now that I have this vision of being grilled about candy while in heaven, I can really make reading God's Word a major priority in my life again. This may be a strange way to be convicted, but God knows what he's doing apparently.

On tangible joy

Even though sometimes things don't go quite as I had planned, I've learned to accept them and move on. I feel this is a very important thing to do in life, because wallowing forever in regret, self pity, or whatever is just stupid. No matter what happens in my life, there is one thing that is always readily available to me: The Joy of the Lord. In truth, I haven't been really down in a long time. Now, there are definitely some days that are better than others, because then great days wouldn't be special, but honestly, I've learned to enjoy life. I've officially come to the conclusion that it is a good thing. What I find is completely amazing is that God gives us joy to have here and now and it can be incredible, but it doesn't even come close to comparing with the joy we'll experience someday when we get to heaven. I think that's so cool. I can't even imagine what it's going to be like, but I'm excited and so hopeful. It's the hope that not only gets me through, but allows me to enjoy a day. I mean, I have to have faith, because if God's seen me through sixteen years of my life, why should I expect for him to let me down? I know he's always going to be there taking care of me. For example, almost exactly two years ago, there was a big tornado in my backyard. My house is still where it was then. We lost a window, a few shingles and twenty-six trees. We live in a 150 year old house. When we woke up and saw the storm, we ran down the stairs over the broken glass from the window. There were no cuts. God took care of my family and me that night, so how could I possibly doubt him? This faith, knowing that He always has my back is what makes my days joyous. With my life revolving around Christ, no matter what happens, I win. If I keep living a long life, I live with the joy, love, and peace of God. If I die, well then I get to go be with Jesus, hooray, duh. This is just what was on my mind. Wow. I can be really long winded, but this is one of the ways I give thanks. I just feel that with so much joy, I have no right to just keep it inside. I want to carry it in a basket (because it's so real and cool that it's like it's tangible) and sprinkle it on people. Wouldn't that be neat? My new ambition: I want to be the Johnny Appleseed of Joy.

On my wonderful little brother

Nothing tastes sweeter than slimy sticky slobbery raisins offered from a slimy sticky slobbery five year old hand. I discovered this today. If you hadn't already guessed, today I am thanking God for my little brother. He is the baby of the family, and the only boy, sometimes I feel bad for him. He has this amazing ability to make my day so much better. I love him very very much. Tonight, while we were eating dinner, he just randomly started talking about this dream he had. It was something about being two years old and playing with his cars in the toilet. I don't even know, but I started laughing so hard I had to get up and leave the table and go in the other room while he finished his story. Then, later he was playing with a fake plastic guitar and showed us how he could "play" and slide on his knees. It was pretty stinking adorable. I'm so glad that I have him in my life as an example and reminder of what it is to be young, simple, carefree and innocent. I hope I always remember these times and how is so funny. I wish people could always be just themselves like they are when they're little kids.

On adventures at Walgreens

Alrighty, so my mom and I just got back from one of our frequent late-night trips to Walgreen's and I just had to write about it.
We only set out to buy one thing and pick up some medicine, but it turned into so much more. On our way to the back of the store, we stopped and looked at mittens and gloves. After much whining and begging, Mom agreed to buy me the Princess mittens, yeah. Then, I noticed something in the mittens that wasn't mittens. It was plastic and funny looking; I thought it was a baby toy... it wasn't.
I picked the thing up and pushed the button reading "Try Me". It turns out the thing was a stinking hand massager! So, as I'm standing there, the thing begins shaking and vibrating like crazy. I let out a very undignified yelp and dropped it back in with the mittens.
After this, much mocking ensued from my mother, of course. So, while she is buying the medicine and paying for our other things, Mom takes it upon herself to tell the nice old man behind the counter about my new found fear of hand massagers. This, to be fair, was said to explain why when I saw an entire BOX FULL OF THEM, I whimpered and hid behind my mom. So, we got several laughs out of the people in the pharmacy section at Walgreen's.
Then, oh yes, it gets better, as we are walking back to the front of the store, Mom saw the Halloween candy. It was on sale, of course. Huge Twizzlers that are about as long as I am tall, caramels for 32 cents a bag, Russel Stover's chocolate ghosts. We loaded up and also decided to get some hairspray. Soon we were walking up to the checkout and Mom's arms were loaded with all we chose to bought and our small grocery bag from our first attempt.
While the friendly cashier is ringing up our items, Mom is telling him all about the Women's Fall Retreat that she just came from, she even took off her jacket and turned around so he could read the scripture verse on the back. When Mom realized that the caramels were really only 32 cents a bag, she sent me scurrying off to get more bags, because apparently there are many many recipes that involve caramels, err. So, we are about ready to pay when I remember that one of the main reasons we came to Walgreen's in the first place was to get a newspaper, so I pick that up only to learn that my mom has another mission for me. She wants more bags of Mixed Mini candy bars. Much to the amusement of the cashier, I trudged back once again to the candy aisle.
When I returned from my journey, Mom and I got into an in depth conversation with the man about how I felt about my own mother disliking me, this came from our banter("Go get me more of these!" "Why?" "Because I don't like you that's why, go!"). She then explained that she indeed loved me, she just didn't like me. So, when the guy rung up our purchases, my mom decided she really needed the cherry Carmax that was by the counter, so he added that on too.
Needless to say, we were there for forever. I'm just glad that we were able to add some amusement to those men and women who work the night shift at Walgreen's, because I imagine it can get pretty boring. Maybe that is my true calling. I shall spend my days, going to different places of business late at night to entertain the people that work there. This is how I will share Jesus with the world! Okay, see this is what happens when I'm in desperate need of sleep.
Okay, one more thing before I say good night: In this newspaper that I bought, there was a story about a dentist who was being sued for messing up this lady's face because he was dancing to "Car Wash" while he drilled in her mouth. Also some eight-year-old boys invented wedgie-proof underwear. I think that that is too cool.
Massagers are scary.
Good night.

On bookstores

I have decided that one day, when and more importantly if I get older, I am going to live in a bookstore for one whole year. I think that would be amazing. I love reading and the smell of books and coffee, so could there possibly be a more enjoyable place to live? The only place that I can think of is heaven, but seeing as I'm alive, a bookstore will have to suffice. All of this comes from my trip to Barnes and Noble that I took with my dad yesterday. I just felt so incredibly content. I couldn't help but smile as I rode the escalator, clutching my Starbucks hot chocolate, smelling the books. I love books, I really do. So, I'll be sure to let you all know when I make the change in address, although I don't suppose they'd appreciate it too much if you mailed me things there. Who is they? What kind of bookstore is going to allow me to live there for a year? No kind I guess. New idea: I will open my own bookstore and then live in it. It's brilliant! Problem solved. Hooray.
New Revelation: When you don't like coffee, it makes it a lot easier to decide what to get at Starbucks.