On why?

So easy to be civil.

So difficult to love.

On there is hope

The Celebration Wedding
By Bradley Hathaway

This is for the ones whose hope is falling
And you no longer hear your savior's calling.

This is for the ones whose backs are turning
And that passion-filled heart you once had has stopped burning.

This is for the ones abandoned.
Now all alone with no solace
and you think you're stranded.

This is for you empty, by life branded,
That had a vision that took leap, but it never landed.

This is for the ones who are plagued.
By those mysteries of life.
And you feel torn inside
by this mind of spirit and strife.

This is for the ones whoes desire to do good is always outweighed
and you don't do as you should.

This is for the ones who mistakes are too many to count
and the guilt on your chest just continues to mount.

This is for the ones who have been done wrong by sins.
At the corrupted hands of perverted men.

Hold on.
HOLD ON!

Because soon will come the Celebration Wedding
and bundles of restoration will be our bedding.

Soon will come the Celebration Wedding
and bundles of restoration will be our bedding.

The trumpeter is taking a breath
The guests are taking their seats.
The Bride is putting on a veil.
The Father is making last-minute preparations.

There's Thousands Times Ten Thousand
angels waiting in holy expectation.

The readied groom is readied.

Soon will come the Celebration Wedding

If you are hurting, your hurt will cease.
If you are restless, you will find peace.
If you are empty, You will be filled.
All of these doubts, they'll be stilled.

If life for you is just too trying, Your tears will be dissipate.
There won't be anymore crying.
If the only thing you know is shame, you will be cleansed
and never again feel the same.

If you can't see straight.

focus.
persevere.
And wait...

Soon will come the Celebration Wedding
and bundles of restoration will be our bedding.

On I think I used to blog

I wrote something:

Sometimes I feel that what I need to do
Is to take a childlike tumble
To let myself miss a step on the stairs
And trip the rest of the way down
My stomach drops out, there's a moment of fear
But the carpet is soft at the bottom
Sprawled on the floor looking up at the ceiling
Time to let the giggles escape
For a moment of clarity
Give me a childlike tumble
a bump
a small crash
a slight bruise
A moment to remember maybe I'm not so grown up
That sometimes I still miss a step
Every once and again
I need a childlike tumble
Just so I can laugh in the end

On Anyone??

On ode to joy

It's so strange to think of how much my life has changed in just a year. So many things have happened, and yet things are kind of the same too. I do know that I am far better off in the joy department. It's still hard to think about how cruddy I had been feeling at this time last year, but amaZing to realize how much better I am now. Everyday God gives me this wonderful, unexplainable joy! There have also been many moments of very explainable joy as He blesses me tangibly too. Basically, I just wanted to update and let whoever is reading know that life is good. No not good, great...no wonderful...no fantastic...no, well you get the idea. Have a fabulous day and I hope some of the joy reaches you!

On not meddlesome, in control

"Shall He not exercise control over our lives and our actions? If we are threatened by the thought, we are ignorant of His purposes and wise in our own conceits. To invite His control is to safeguard our spirits from destruction. To recognize that He desires to rule over us and will do so with diligence and integrity and love is the basic requirement for activating His authoritative power in our lives. What vast blessings we forfeit when we insist on holding this power ourselves! In the final end, He will rule us anyway; but what about this present moment? Can we not benefit greatly by invoking His control in all our daily living?" --Total Love

Lately I have been realizing more and more that everything in life is under the control of God. This has made everything I experience so much more exciting. When something unexpected happens, I can rejoice that this surprise is all part of the adventure God has planned for me.

On suggestions please

Wanna help?? For my Sociology class, we're beginning a project for which I have to choose just one song that is going to be "my song." This song is supposed to tie significantly to my life and who I am. I have a few in mind, but wouldn't mind suggestions. If you think of some thing that would be good for me to use, let me know. Bonus: for a few days, I get to listen to my MP3 player in class...bet you're jealous...

On lit class

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away. It is not important that mature as soon as an apple tree or an oak. Shall he turn his spring into summer?" Henry David Thoreau "Walden, or Life in the Woods"

"There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide...These roses under my window make no reference to former roses or to better ones; they are for what they are; they exist with God today. There is no time to them. There is simply the rose; it is perfect in every moment of its existence." Ralph Waldo Emerson "Self-Reliance"

"Had we but world enough, and time,
This coyness, lady, were no crime
We would sit down and think which way
To walk, to pass our long love's day,
Thou by the Indian Ganges' side
Shouldst rubies find, I by the tide
Of Humber would complain, I would
Love you ten years before the Flood;
And you should, if you please, refuse
Till the conversion of the Jews
My vegetable love should grow
Vaster than empires, and more slow
A hundred years should go to praise
Thine eyed, and on thy fore head gaze;
Two hundred to adore each breast,
But thirty thousand to the rest,
An age at least should show your heart
For, lady you deserve this state,
Nor would I love at lower rate

But at my back I always hear
Time's winged chariot hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lie
Deserts of vast eternity
Thy beauty shall no more be found,
Nor, in thy marble vault shall sound
My echoing song, then worms shall try
That long preserv'd virginity,
And your quaint honor turn to dust,
And into ashes all my lust
The grave's a fine and private place,
But none I think do there embrace

Now therefore, while the youthful hue
Sits on thy skin like morning dew,
And while thy milling soul transpires
At every pore with instant fires,
Now let us sport us while we may,
And now, like am'rous birds of prey,
Rather at once our time devour,
Than languish in his snow-chapp'd power
Let us roll all our strength, and all
Our sweetness up, into one ball,
And tear our pleasure with rough strife
Thorough the iron gates of life
Thus, though we cannot make our sun
Stand still, yet we will make him run"
Andrew Marvell "To his Coy Mistress"

"A poem is a movie character
Sometimes adored
Sometimes despised
Spending its years being admired, criticized, examined
There is a basic role
And yet the portrayal has depth and life
With always a new feature to be realized"
Lindsey Carroll on assignment to write a poem about poetry...poetry and I have this love/hate relationship :)

On people...people needing people

Food for thought: Everyone person you know changes your life in some way even if it's really small. That phrase, a quote from a friend, has been on my mind for the last couple of weeks. When I first heard it, it struck me as odd, but the phrase has since grown on me. After lots of thought, I've decided that yeah, my life is a little bit different because of every person I meet. Just recently I was kind of smacked in the face with the realization of how much my life is made better because of the people in it. On Sunday night, I had a couple of pretty crazy dreams. In the first, I was dying. Morbid and creepy right? Well, in the dream I was terminally ill or something and I was going to have my organs harvested before I died. So basically, I was going to go into surgery and not come back. Yeah, I have to reference Big Fish again, that's what my dream was like. At the end of the movie, everyone from Edward Bloom's life is there to see him off at the end of his life. Well, in my dream, in this hospital waiting room, all these different people from my life were there to be with me. It was hardly even sad! All these people had encouraging things to say to me and I wasn't scared but totally at peace...a very strange/neat dream. Now I know it was just a dream, but I woke up, a little weirded out I won't lie, but also filled with the sense of how much I love/am loved by all the people in my dream. Nice! Pondering on this dream (doubtfully prophetic) I have grown in my appreciation for all of you who have touched my life. This and the previous idea have also driven me to see this from the other side. You affect everyone you meet...everybody I know has the opportunity to be changed by me. Something I say or do be it positive or negative could stick with someone for a long while. I'm not saying that we should all be walking on eggshells, but let's consider this and try to be cautious. How should I live knowing that I am influencing everyone around me even if it is in the smallest way? I would hope that when thinking of me, the people I know would be able, like me, to know that they are loved.

On my apologies

I realize that is has been quite a while since I've last written. It isn't that I haven't had thoughts, it's just that time required for me to document them has been scarce. Hopefully that will change soon. I should be writing something new in the next few days. I would promise, but I know everyone who's currently studying the Sermon on the Mount with me would call me out on it :)
Until I write again, here's something from my life: You know it's time to step back and reassess when your mother tells you that you need to stop taking life so seriously.

PS. I have a cold again, help me think of more play on words to use with "phlegm."

On cool beans and the art of imitation

I find that the more time I spend around a person, the more I begin to behave like them. I think that we're all a little bit like that. By spending a good deal of time with someone, I begin to pick up on their little hand gestures, speech patterns, or unique expressions. For example, Lydia has a multitude of people whom she calls "Paco" for no real reason... this has kind of grown on me and I know enjoy calling people "Paco" myself. (The real Paco by the way is the most fabulous waiter at Acapulco.) Also Steven's little thing where is says "cool beans" when he thinks something is neat has worked it's way into frequent use with me. The last few days it 's become super prevalent in my mind that I am a huge imitator. I love repeating the things that people say, mocking the way they say them. Accents are also lots of fun and I like messing with those (talking like an India Indian but also having the tongue on the roof of my mouth, a newly discovered obnoxious talent). I quote movies like crazy and can memorize songs lyrics in a heartbeat but this week I've overestimated my talents it seems. On Thursday I tried out for the play at my school. Now, don't get all excited because I found out today that I didn't make it, but I've learned that I was wrong in thinking that being a good imitator would make me a good actress. See the play I tried out for I'd never heard of or seen before. Therefore I was cold...nothing to imitate. I'm really not sure if writing about this was in anyway productive, but now you get to hear all my excuses and such...your welcome. I'm trying not to make that big a deal out of it... pray for me that I find a different outlet through which I can shine my light (that was pretty much the sole trying out purpose). Glass Half Full Moment: for me imitating is way better than acting because imitating shows flattery (usually) and we're supposed to be imitators of who?? Jesus so I guess being a good imitator should come in handy with that business (some days more than others) and you know being an actor of Jesus would be no good at all. Sorry it's been a bit since I've written anything especially noteworthy...thanks for reading anyway. Oh and a PS, I'm published!!! I've been being a total braggart about this because I can. in Newburgh and Evansville, stop by a bridal store and get a free magazine because my prom article is in there...page 27. Cheerio now and sorry if I know you well and stole an expression of your for this post :)