On Where have all the cookies gone?

Do you remember those commercials?? "Where have all the cookies gone? Into Hershey's Cookies and Cream!" Well those candy bars are very good and here's just one of those moments where my brain works really funny. With all these people going away...either moving because they don't really have a choice or moving because they feel they're being called somewhere else...I've been kind of feeling like: hey, where have all the awesome people gone? Okay so in the commercial, it's all these empty cookie jars with people looking into them with looks of shock on their faces. Then, it reveals that all the cookies went to go make these amazing candy bars. They "took away" something good from people to make something else that's really really cool. So, what if God's plan for me, for my friends, for the world, is like a Cookies and Cream candy bar? He has a bigger, better plan that I can't understand and He's sending all these people to different places to achieve His will. In essence, "taking" them away from me to create the bigger picture, the candy bar. I really don't know, but I think it's something like that. Maybe while I'm like, "Hey, I really miss those cookies," God is saying, "Wow! Look at this radical candy bar I'm making!"

On tree, lake, brook

"Grow upward as trees, and seek My face. Dwell deep, as the lake, and know My fullness and quiet. And move ever, always, determinedly onward as the brook does; and keep the outflow of your life ever in motion...So the trees would say to you, Speak. Speak to Me, speak of Me--for I am always speaking. And the lake would say to you, Be still. Be still before Me in communion, and be still at times even in the company of others, so you may enjoy the lesson of the lake in mutual fellowship. And Move. Find the channel of creativity within your soul. I have made no one without it. Some have choked it with indifference, others have despised it in rebellion; others have ignored it in foolishness; others have twisted it in bitterness. But I stand ready to come to the assistance of any man or woman who sincerely endeavors to find this channel, to remove debris, to repair damage or straighten the course, and most of all to enter the flow. It is the flow of divine life." --from Come Away My Beloved

I really don't think that there's much I can add to that. Look up and seek Him. Seek His face. That was my devotional this morning and it certainly smacked me in my face. Come Away My Beloved is one of the most amazing books I've ever read. I read a little every morning and it can be pretty overwhelming. Like this morning, "speak to me...be still...move" just the encouragement and at the same time rebuking motivation I've been in need of this summer. I could be accused of having not only a lazy body this season, but also a lazy heart. I think at times we all need to reawaken and relearn how to use our hearts. The passage above was one that helped me refocus so I just thought I'd share.

I'm so glad I've started writing again!!! It's funny how sometimes there's been a wall up and you never even knew it was there until something knocks it down.

On joy to the fishies

Yes I think the time has come for me to talk about my trip to Texas. We had a really good time, except for the creepy "crack-zone" motel. Sea World was pretty stinking amazing. We saw lots of show, I was very very impressed...belugas are really weird animals just so you know. Anyway, it was really cool to watch the trainers and the animals interact. We saw dolphins, sea lions, a performing otter, and of course Shamu. HE"S HUGE!!!! We sat towards the front of the stadium for that one and got splashed big time. The coolest thing ever (I think) is that while we were there, I got to pet some dolphins. It was so neat. I pretty much felt like a four year old and my dad kept taking me back to the dolphin pool and buying me more fish so I could pet them some more. Now I really can't stop talking about how I touched a dolphin...it's actually a really cool thing to bring up if there's ever an awkward silence, yeah dolphins rock. I bought a kids dolphin shirt as my souvenir, its basically the coolest thing ever... the dolphins on it are purple, pretty wild stuff. Oh and my dad bought me a mood necklace (go Relient K) that has Shamu on it and it seems that for that last couple weeks I've been pretty purple. So Sea World was really fun, they had some cool rides with really funny messages that played while you waited in line. They had the usual about securing your hats and things , but one ride warned you that you had better keep your prosthetic devices screwed on tight or they might fall off and another that your anything on your person would get "soaked". Yes lots of laughs and jokes about flying fake arms. Now let me get to what was probably my favorite part of the experience. The fish tanks. The aquarium there housed so many fish! They were all so different...it was so neat!!!! I wanted to stay there and sit watching the fish for hours, I really could have. It was really strange, but watching all those fish swimming around made me want to sit and write really bad. Wanting to sit and write obviously isn't strange for me, but I thought it was odd that it was fish that brought on that feeling. I don't know they just made me so full of joy...God's creation is just so...brilliant. There were these silver fish that were almost completely flat, you could barely see them when they turned and faced you. I liked the striped fish best probably, there was a really pretty kind that was white and yellow with really thin blue stripes. There was also this fish that looked like one of those sad clowns with a big red mouth...extremely funny. Swimming at the top of the tank were sting rays and I got to watch a diver feed them by hand. It was pretty cool to watch how the sting rays interacted with him. It was almost like they were nuzzling him.

The rest of the trip wasn't bad either. In San Antonio, we ate at the Hard Rock Cafe and visited the Alamo. I really enjoyed going to see the neighborhood where my dad used to live. Some of those neighbors still live there and had lots of stories to tell. Sitting and getting to listen to all of them was really neat. At the reunion, I pitched washers (okay yeah I know totally redneck but the game is actually kind of fun with pretty advanced rules) with the best of them. Well, maybe not the best of them, but my team held its own for a while. So, yeah Texas was a fun trip. I've included pictures for your viewing pleasure. Before you get to jealous of my adventures though I will add that it was really stinking hot (check out the picture of the car thermometer).

PS Fish rock.

On ROAD TRIP!

We're getting ready to head out for Texas. Please keep my family in your prayers as we travel and pray for me that I'm not headed off to the loony bin after this vacation. I really do love my family very much, but it's very possible that I will be driven nuts by them before the ten days are up. I'm looking forward to getting away from regular life for a little while with all the crazy stuff that's been going on. We're going to Sea World while we're down there so that should be fun. I don't really have anything profound, touching, or introspective to write today, but I just wanted to ask for prayers. Remember my family all stuck in a minivan for nineteen hours and pray for my youth group too-- we're having some hard times right now but we're pressing on--thanks, have a good day. Hopefully I'll bring back some cool pictures that look like Free Willy.

On School's out for the SUMMER

HECK YES!!!!!!!

enough said.

On Darin you better read this because I titled it just for you: This Beautiful Mess

I miss winter. Don't get me wrong I do love Spring, my tree is BEAutiful and the weather is oh so nice, but by the circle of life, Spring is also a time of change. Change, there has been quite a lot of that going on and with my OCD tendencies, I'm not especially good with change. This week has been pretty emotionally draining for me, I've pretty much been perpetually in tears. But I've now decided that I've been making things a lot more complicated than they need to be. it's really quite simple see I have zero control over any of it, so therefore I have to learn vulnerability... to trust, to lean, to allow God to continuing teaching me even through the hard times. Some of the change makes me sad, even though it is the right thing, so basically I don't know how I'm supposed to be feeling right now. However, despite the fact that I'm a COMPLETE MESS, I've decided to just praise God through it. I think He really loves that. So, in the next few days I'll probably be found either 1) crying my eyes out for no apparent reason or 2) running and dancing and singing and praising in the backyard under the sun with the dandelions. Yes you don't have to tell me, I know it doesn't make sense. God is using these hard times when I've slowed down, stopped, and looked around to really really romance my heart and hold my hand through all of it. He wants me to let Him be there for me. I think that 's really great. I could go on and on about the ways God has made the difficult moments so beautiful, (one example being an entire backyard full of white dandelions). So, I'm going to focus on joy, because without joy what do you have?? And as Lydia reminded me this morning: "Star people do not shed tears, but light."

Here I sigh with relief that God loves us beautiful messes (I actually know quite a few right now).

Sungirl

On lately

Hello dear ones, I'm sure you missed me. Well, maybe not since no one commented on my last post, that's perfectly okay though. I decided not to let my blog fizzle out, so I'm updating today. Let's see what's been going on in my life...

Hmmm... the Wednesday before Spring Break I gave my testimony for our church worship night with the youth. Being able to do that was an incredible blessing. The night focused in on how we are, always have been, and always will be God's beloved (the joy I get from knowing that, OH MY GOODNESS!!). Anyway, the whole thing was really cool, I think the best part was when I shared my Princess story that I posted a long time ago, people got it and that made me really excited.

Spring is here, (mostly) and I am overjoyed!!! The Lindsey Memorial Garden is in bloom, with little pink flowers on my weeping cherry tree and buds on the tulip plants. It is soooooo beautiful and it's making me so excited!!! I love love love spring, everything is green and new and there's a lot of other cliche statements that I could make about it, but just so you know, I love it.

A really major change is going to be happening in my life soon, that is Hannah and Jonathan (my pretend parents) are leaving in two weeks for their year long mission experience. I am going to miss the two of them SO MUCH. So, yes I've been pretty much an idiot to get so close to them, ha ha, but now I just adore them and will be so so so so so sad when they leave. Life will go on however ,I am building up a reservoir of good memories to have once they're gone.

I'm also very excited about the Florida trip this summer. No not really excited, more ecstatic!! I can't wait. It's going to be so nice to just get away from everything to focus on what God wants for my youth group, and to focus on loving others and growing with them. I am also curious to see how God will work in my life while we're there and in the lives of everyone else. I'm still growing growing growing everyday and it is awesome!! This week I am studying in Philippians and am curious to see where I'm led with that. No one's really missed much, my days are still filled with joy and peace and best of all love because "all you need is love" (The Beatles).

So, I wish you all amazing days, weeks, and months. And remember, "you're never fully dressed without a smile." Hmmm, I guess that means some of you are naked... AWKWARD!!!
Bye.